Monday, January 12, 2009
"He, him, and most importantly his story" is personally dedicated from me to him. He most importantly knew him nearing seven years this year. A friend, special yet never failing to be there whenever needed by me. I do not regard myself highly important to him, but I will do the least I can as a very good friend whenever needed. Till now, I understands him, but will fail to really knows how he think, which is something that no one would ever attained.
Straight forward, socialable and brave thats him. If ever anyone, anything, that cause him to feel uncomfortable or dislike, he would just declare it straight, no hidding nor back remarks. Something which is his strong yet weak point. It's good that each have his unique personality, however, to some it would be hurtful at times. But I accepted him as a friend and to me thats never a big problem but a way of communication I say. Friends, I doubt that he lack of that, he got many groups of good friends and being socialable thus, allow him to conversate easily with anyone in his surrounding environment. Which is simply why, he is never alone, lighting up his simple life with more joy. Brave, sadly to say, losing a father during secondary two, was something that none ever would want. But sometimes, things just don't suits our way. Everyone, when alone, thinking back, those were the good days, with your father, showering his great love on you. Shedding of tears drops, each carrying the word missed. It's never easy to walk alone, more over, the intense pain that echo hardly in your vulnerable heart.
With us he was the happy guy we knew, smiling and brought joy to our lives, sometimes I do regret and asked myself at times, have we really done so by bringing joy to his life and neglected him at times. Once, I was at the beach, with him, During December 2006, he was then drunked, he started crying, looking at the dark sky, merely many stars, I remembered very clearly till now, he pointed and shouted,"Daddy, where are you? I missed you badly you know?" Then pouring of heavy tears began, then he said why other can happily talk about their family, and have a father who love them, He also wish he could join us and say how great his father was. I felt helpless, speechless and begin to drop a few tears. He told me, he fear and really contantly do not want to lose his mother too, however his mother do not understand this, and at times blames him for being selfish going out with friends and even said that he caused his dad's death. A nail so sharp enough to kill him, was hit directly at him. I really feel so sorry, as I will never understand how he feels, the pain he had losing a father and the miscommunication between his mother.
Almost all occassion, he never failes to get drunk, and spilling out the deep truth within him. Thats when I really found the real him. Not happy at all but having pestered by tons of worries. I wished I could really helped, but I knew I was never near there. Recently, he was very fustrated over his mother, over something that I shall not say, but during his birthday this year, he cried over it again, we everyone knew what happened, he was just worried about his mother thats all. You were right when you told me off, you don't know anything, so don't say, yes i will never know. Regretted being stubborn and went head to head with you. Thats why, I always say to myself, I really fail being a good friend for you and never done my part.
Now, success in his studies and most importantly, he have a very stong passion for singing. In fact, growing within him is the root of music, a born with powerful vocals that allow him to sing at high pitch. He is currently learning at a music school, and improving as the days flies. I am really proud to even tell my friends that he is my friend right there singing, although he failed at some singing competitions, but that makes him stronger and better. I know that saying will not change the fact, but i will say, he would had won is all because of unfair in the voting we lead him to defeat which I really hated to admit that it was the end results. Nevermind, I believed, he will continue his loved for music and move on to greater heights ahead. Most imortantly, he broke the curse, a curse between Me, him and another best friend. He got a girlfriend, I believed that will look after him, loved him and most importantly be an understanding partner to him. At least for now, I have no worries that he is alone and i really wish him all the best in his relationship.
Lastly, he was someone that I never regretted knowing, a friend, an elder brother at times, whom I shared tears and joys with. Someone who I knew that will quarrel with me, makes me angry, pissed off and smiles at the end. But most importantly, makes me happy for my majority part of my life. What can I ask for more, god gave me someone, who was fated I will know him during this lifetime as my very good friend, and there is no way I'm gonna shake him off. How long can one live, once in a lifetime. Listen to me, your dad always loves you and your mother too, give her time, afterall she is your closest kin. Be happy, enjoy what you got now. I'm sorry for being stubborn headed always, failed as a friend, but no matter what I will just be there, a listener, a punching bag, and a quarreling partner there to lighten up your day. Once I know you, I knew that we are the friends in this lifetime.
My next entry is titled"Shrek and princess fiona"will debut next Monday 19th January.
❤5:11 AM
