Monday, November 24, 2008
"Rock 13" titled after the part two of "2004". A place where only i experience peace and quietness alone, used to go there with her fours years ago. It's a place where the sea listens to me, the wind comfort me and the changing of weather tells my mood of the day. Its like whenever i'm with her, sunshine is always there, shining strongly, but days when i spend alone, are when is is cloudy and sometimes stormy.
Maybe i'm reading too much, but it's a place i call my peaceful ground.
Sands along the beach, each step i walk, bring back sweet memories and emotions at times, alone most of the time after the incident, think back hardly, but nonetheless, it's the path i chosen, no one but myself, how many time can one live in this lifetime, and experience this over again. Sittting alone there, was not unusual anymore, staring at the scenery around was my only diversion from the reality world. At times, i wish i could stay there forever, no worries at all, but memories of me and her, those were the days. Wishing it to be back again at times, but that was my wishful thinking all along.
Leaving her was painful and a tough decision then, the only reason i did so was only because i was not really ready, i guess it was my very bad mistake back then, but it's pointless for me to say now. Since the day I left her, I not only cried everyday too, but i could not get her out of my mind even till now. Even having other relationships, caused me to fail badly, because i cannot fall in love that easily anymore. For me fours years ago, rock 13 was a place for me, all alone, just myself. I buried my love for her there, and there is where my memories are kept safely. I know i will not be able to get over her, never in my life, but back then i tried and even forced myself to do so. the pain, agony and efforts all ended worthless. I spend most of my entired time back there four years ago, just sitting there, and nothing else. Crying was part of a normal thing back then.
But, there is the only place i trusted and i feel hopeful to move on, it's like a memory or gift she left for me. it's very important to me, that i would go there everyday. Just to make the long trip down there to make myself feel comfortable. At least every week to without fail. Writing letters and buried in the sand, it's the only way i communicate to another person. I believe that my surrounding are all alive and they are all listening to me, the sea, clouds, sun, wind and even the sands, they are all my good listeners. They are all there for me and at that moment of time, i got no one to trust, only them. They were all like my family and friends, helping me to overcome my challenge ahead.
Soon i came to realise that sitting there was not only a place that make me think of her, but make me cling on to her. I'm only sinking deeper and deeper into it. I finally wake up and make another decision of my life. To stop going there and thats the only solution i felt was best for me at that point. So i carry it out. At first, i really felt like was quitting my addictions, and tried to think of going back there, but in the end, i always manages to just forget it. Long enough i stopped visiting there.
It's been fours years till now, i missed that place badly, but till now i know, that was not the right solution after all again, i still can't forget her, it's forever in me, and there is no way she not going to be part of my life. I just want to visit her soon enough again, go there like we use to and really catch up. It's really been long, i hope that i will cherish it now and never let go again, i learnt it the hard way and no words could be used to decribe what i'm really going through. Forgetting someone is hard and i decided not to forget her anymore, given a second chance, i will cherish it, and not let it slip of again, meanwhile, i shall let nature take it's course and wait. It's all up to fate now, my destiny is rock 13 for now.
My next story is titled "Fated or forced" debuts next Monday 1st December
❤7:13 AM
